“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac
Times are not what they used to be. We are plugged in (electronically) at all times and are constantly controlled by what we think we control. In this day and age of advanced technology, it makes it extremely easy to be checked out and focus on the world around us instead of the one thing that helps us survive and that is the world inside of us.
We are all faced with decisions that need to be made on a daily basis and most of us have been conditioned to look to the outside for the answers. We ask our friends, our family members, co-workers and pay for counselors who can try to tell us what the best decision is. Most of these people have their own prejudices and beliefs that guide them and that they have learned to filter everything through. They are only basing their answers on what they think is the best decision and is usually based on their own belief system.
If only there was a magic formula that could lead us down the right path and help us make the decision that is right for us every time. If only we had a crystal ball or some sort of guidance system that knew what was the best decision for our highest and best. How would you respond if you knew that you actually had all your own perfect answers deep inside of you? It would be shocking! How could that be? So many years of weighing decisions and it could really be that easy?
We are naturally born with our own navigation system but most people will never even know how to tap in to it. We were created with an intuition and an sixth sense that was meant to lead us in every way. It is our own personal GPS system. No batteries required, no Internet access needed, no instruction manual and no updates. It is ready to go and all we have to do it to learn how to plug in to it.
It is something that so foreign to many of us. In the past we have relied so heavily on outside information and data to guide our path. Most of us can clearly state that we have made our fair share of mistakes or bad decision and would do things differently if we had to do it all over again. It is not too late to tap in to this miraculous guiding system that can turn our lives around for the better. There is a power that exists inside of each of us just like an organ in our body. This not only is our intuition or sixth sense but it is truly like a super power. Most of us at one point or another have wanted to have some sort of special power, like one of those super heroes, but what we don’t realize is that in a special way, we already have one.
Once we realize that power that exists inside of us, we no longer have to rely on other people’s opinions or outside influences to guide us. We have that innate power to ensure we make the right decision all the time. How many times have we had a hunch or feeling about something only to realize that later we were right? If only we had listened to our gut, the outcome could have been different. We are conditioned to ignore that voice or push inside of us because we spend too much time in our head trying to weigh things out and rely on rational thinking. What we fail to understand is that we were not created to live like that. We are connected to source/God/the Universe and have a deep knowing that many of us have done a great job of shutting down.
As children, many of us were caused to question our gut feeling. We were shamed and guilted into doing or feeling things that were in conflict with our true nature. We may have been scared and then we were told that we had no reason to be frightened. We may have been angry and told that we had no right to be angry. Every time an adult told us something that was in conflict with our intuition, we were caused to question our own internal guidance system. After being challenged so many times, we came to the conclusion that we must be faulty because there is no way that the adult and caretakers in our lives could possibly be wrong.
This began the vicious cycle of internally quieting ourselves and shutting ourselves off from the very source that provided that innate guidance. Even though our parents or caretakers meant well, it was very damaging to the very essence of who we are. It created beliefs in us that we continue to carry on through our adult life. How many men do you know that grew up believing that men had to be tough and not show emotions? This caused most little boys to cut themselves off from their very emotions for survival and abandon themselves. A scary thunderstorm and a frightened child was told there was nothing to be afraid of soon learned that the fear that they thought existed, possibly was not acceptable. A child who lost a pet was told not to cry and they would get another dog had quickly learned that being sad was not okay and that finding something else to distract him was the solution.
As years go by and the same messages are repeated, eventually we began to learn that we could not trust ourselves. In fact, we began to trust others more than we trusted our own feelings and we are lead astray by those who may not even have our best interest in mind. Many people who were exposed to this sort of non validating and somewhat dysfunctional upbringing end up in relationships with people that are not trustworthy and yet they will place more faith in them than their very own truth.
Deep down, we know our own truth and many of us have stopped trusting ourselves and continue to question our intuition. We must learn to tune back in to our internal GPS. I for one have always had a difficult time making decisions. Ordering at a restaurant became a challenging task, as I was never even sure what I wanted. It was easier for someone else to make the decision because I had learned that I could not trust myself, or what I wanted.
So what do we do? We must learn to reestablish self-trust. We truly do know what is best and have the answers and through time and discipline, we can learn to trust ourselves again and reconnect with our guidance system.
- Learning to trust yourself begins with:
- Letting go of the idea of “the” right answer and just looking for “your” right answer.
- Being aware of your thoughts and feelings and expressing them
- Living your life according to your own personal standards and sense of integrity
- Knowing when you need to care for yourself first
- Knowing you can survive mistakes, get up and try again
- Pursuing what you want without stopping
- Avoiding people who undermine your self trust
- Keeping promises to yourself
- Speaking kindly to yourself
Once you can start to practice these habits regularly, you will start to get back in touch with your guidance system. You will learn to hear your inner voice louder and louder and be able to identify with it more quickly.
If you think about it, whenever you ask yourself a direct question, you will learn that you probably already know the answer. What is amazing is that we often don’t think to ask ourselves because we are blocked against the answer.
I have always loved the quote, “The answer lies in the question”. I was finally able to understand what that meant. I believe that when we ask ourselves a question about something or someone, we already have the answer that has sparked the question. Think about when you ask a question about something…Should I leave the relationship? Could I have a drinking problem? Should I turn down the job offer? Should I go on the date? Pay close attention to the wording in your questions and more than likely the answer is right there. Look at the difference between, “should I fight for my relationship?” Or, “should I walk away from my relationship?”. In both of these questions, chances are that the answer is right there.
We have all our answers, it just takes paying attention and listening to our gut.
About the Author
Tracy is a published author, Co-Founder of Invigorated Solutions (see http://www.invigoratedsolutions.com) and a certified Life Coach specializing in life transition coaching, career changes, major life changes and family matters.
What about you? If you’re trying to change a certain script in your life, start small and experience some success. Build from there. What has been stopping you from moving forward with change? What rituals (or habits) do you want to change in your life? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
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Published by: Invigorated Solutions. Tracy is a published author and certified Life Coach specializing in life transition coaching, career changes, major life changes and family matters. They can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
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