You may as well be since they are mystical creatures and don’t really exist! Fear is really just an illusion. It is False Evidence Appearing Real. When we succumb to fear, we believe in a thought that we have created that is more than likely not reality.
How many times have we created a worse case scenario in our minds and convinced ourselves that it was our reality? If someone does not call you back right away, do you create a story that there is something wrong with YOU? When your checking account balance drops are you suddenly picturing yourself having to move out of your home and live on the streets? When you are giving a speech, do you convince yourself that everyone is bored and thinks you are awful? Many of us have become addicted to the negative feelings associated with fear and continue to create more situations that perpetuate more fear. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Fear is the same as faith in that we believe in something that we cannot see. However, having faith means believing in something far better and trusting that things will turn out for the best. Sadly, most of us chose to put our trust and energy into fear rather than faith. There is something inside of us that creates fear. It is the unknown, the lack of information that we have and the uncertainty of what is to come in the future. Putting our rational mind in control causes us to create and believe any story we can possibly fabricate regardless of the negative emotions that it creates.
We have an innate quality in each of us that we were born with as part of our survival instincts. It is fight and flight mechanism that we were created with and keeps us from danger. That quality was instilled in us as part of our natural survival instincts. Fear can be a good thing as it was meant to protect us from danger. In earlier days, when hunters would spot a bear or mountain lion, their fear would kick in, and they would get a surge of adrenalin and enable them to choose whether they need to fight for survival or flee to safety.
Many of us grew up in dysfunctional homes where the environment was unpredictable or unstable. Whether it was an alcoholic, emotionally unbalanced or raging parent, we learned that we were in a constant state of survival. We lived with uncertainty and inconsistency. With the constant stress on our systems, we began to live in a chronic state of fear. It was about survival. We learned to do what we needed just to survive. It could be avoidance, physically leaving the situation, getting angry, emotionally dissociating or emotionally shutting down. The fear continued to run rampant in our systems and it became a way of life for many of us.
I personally learned to “run” in situations that became emotionally stressful or uncomfortable for me. I would either physically flee the argument or I would emotionally shut down and dissociate. It was all I could do to keep myself emotionally safe. I lived in fear and became paralyzed by it. All the while, the cortisol (stress hormone produced by the brain) was building up in my system and manifesting in back pain, headaches, anxiety and other health related issues.
Our society promotes a fear-driven life through the media, politics, social networking and other world news. The media is constantly keeping us locked in a chronic state of fear. When you turn on the news, the internet or pick up the newspaper, within minutes you will have a reason to be afraid. Whether it is a deadly flu, a failing economy, a natural disaster, or a mall shooting, we have no choice but to be afraid. Most people continue to watch day after day as situations worsen and more tragic stories arise. They have a subconscious need to feel the fear. It may have come become a familiar, albeit comfortable, place to live. Fear is simply created by a single thought. This thought then creates negative feelings, which leads to emotional discomfort or even trauma.
So how do we stop the madness? Start by eliminating any situations that create fear that you have control over. Stop watching the news, social media on the internet and reading the newspaper. We have no control over what happens in the world so if we get real, we will realize that the information we get from these sources really does nothing for us but create fear. You have heard the saying, “ignorance is bliss?” It is true! My life has become so much more peaceful without TV. And somehow, if there is some major headline I need to know about, I end up hearing about it through friends or family.
Remove unsafe people from your life. If you have someone who keeps you in a perpetual state of physical or emotional fear, it is time to reevaluate the relationship and decide if you want to continue to have someone in your life that adds more fear.
Aside from these items, here are some steps you can take to move past it:
The first step is to recognize what we are doing. Where there is fear, there is an absence of love. Love is our natural state that we were born into. We knew there was a creator that would provide everything that we needed and that we were always safe and loved. As we grew up, we put our trust in our caretakers who were living in fear themselves. We need to go back to our spiritual connection. No matter what our personal creed is, we must accept that we came from a place of love. This love still exists and we have cut ourselves off from it. Our fear comes out of a lack of understanding and faith in our own divinity and we separate ourselves from our own divine nature which is unconditional and unlimited love. The degree of fear reflects the degree of separation from our divinity.
When we live in fear, we are putting our faith in our own mortality, which then limits us and keeps us in a place of loneliness, and living in scarcity. We must learn to trust that there is a power or force greater than us, call it the Universe, God, Higher Power, Source or whatever else best fits you. We must learn to believe that this power loves us and will provide all that we need if we just let go, trust and allow it. The more fearful we are, the more we feel the need to control our life by controlling everything and everyone around us to avoid loneliness, poverty and pain.
Second, stop the thoughts as quickly as you catch them. If we allow ourselves to go from one fearful thought to the next, we start a snowball effect and sometimes it can be difficult to stop. The quicker we catch ourselves, the easier it is to stop. We are big fans of Byron Katie and her 4 questions she suggests to bring us back to love. When you have a fearful thought:
1. Ask yourself if the thought is true?
2. Can you absolutely believe it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be (how would you feel) without the thought?
Lastly, you can counteract the thought. When we ask the fourth question, as stated above, we somehow start to feel better and are releasing our attachment to the initial thought. Give someone the benefit of the doubt as to why they have not called you, maybe their phone died or they had a family emergency or work issue that came up. If we are afraid of running out of money, remind yourself that you probably have never run out of money in the past and will likely be fine. I like to remind myself of the four core beliefs that are our birthright and keep us connected to source. I am safe, I am loved, I am worthy (and will be provided for), I am whole and I am complete. When you are faced with fear, there is some thought that you have created in your mind that contradicts one of these beliefs. This is what separates us from source and the peace that we are meant to live in.
In closing, fear is a way of life for many of us. It doesn’t have to be that way. From my own personal experience, I thought there was no other way to live and just assumed that fear was an emotion that a natural part of who I was. I caught myself driving down the road in a tense state on a daily basis. Once I realize it was a choice I was making and was able to slowly tame the wild stallion, life became so much more peaceful and manageable for me.
At the end of the day, we can be reminded of the famous quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt, “All we have to fear is fear itself”. In reality, the fear we are creating is what we really need to be afraid of and put an end to. Fear directs our attention to the future instead of keeping us in the present moment. If we can stay focused on the present, we can get to that place of peacefulness. Most of what we create is based on situations from the past and stories that we have made up. Very little of our fear is actually warranted unless we have actually experienced something and have a legitimate reason to believe that it will happen again.
Now, given this information, Are you really afraid of Mermaids and Unicorns?
The perfect outcome will always manifest into your life. The Universe does not make mistakes. It only creates the most beneficial situation for your soul’s evolution, and always provides you with the opportunity to re-create your life how you want it to be, perhaps even better than what you originally asked for!
About the Author
Tracy Todaro is an award winning best-selling Author and Certified Life Coach and is Co-Founder of Invigorated Solutions. For more information and great articles, Click Here to visit Invigorated Solutions.
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Passionate about life, learning, love and sharing their experiences of life, Bob & Tracy Wallace enjoy sharing their invigorated (energizing) solutions / advice and useful life tips for living life to the fullest on their popular life development blog, “Invigorated Solutions”. Click HERE to visit our website for more valuable information.